Gratefulness Through Everything
My life goal has been finding the opportunity to film sports like snowboarding professionally. I spent every penny I had on upcoming trips to Mammoth Mountain California, Mt. Bachelor Oregon, Niseko Japan, Alberta Canada, Jackson Hole Wyoming and Glacier National Park Montana. Not to mention the tens of thousands of dollars I spent on snowboarding and camera gear. I have slept in my car in the parking lot alone in freezing cold temperatures so I could be on the mountain that next day. Then out of nowhere on a perfect bluebird early January morning, I had an accident on a snowboard that left me with a fractured fibula, tibia, a couple fractured ribs and a horizontal tear in my meniscus. In this article I’m going to explain why this is the best thing to happen to me and why you should be grateful while navigating injuries and life.
I went through all the phases of grief this month. There was a very audible sound of the bones in my ankle crunching inside my boot the moment I landed. The impact left helmet cracked in half and my ears ringing. I automatically was in denial. I walked away from the mountain praying that this was not happening. I sat in the car devastated when I took my boot off and saw the swelling and the dislocation. I was not focused on the pain at all. I was focused on all the hard work and thousands of hours I have put into this passion for it to just be stopped by my own body giving up.
Time felt like it just stopped as my friend drove me down the mountain. I stared outside the car window looking at the sun bouncing off the snow-covered trees and people innocently enjoying themselves in the snow. Every winding turn forced me to try and hide my tears underneath my sunglasses. The adrenalin was wearing off, the swelling was getting worse and my anger was kicking in…
A couple days later after meeting with multiple Orthopedic surgeons my first question would be “how long?”. The answer was always an unsure look from the doctor and 6-8 months if it all goes well. This spun me into a dark hole of depression. Snowboarding and surfing is all I thought I had left in life. I got laid off in December and even had a relationship end with someone I wanted to spend my whole life with over a clash in lifestyles. I started leaning more into alcohol, distancing myself from everyone and fell into a deeper depression.
Then one morning before the sun rose, my friend drove over to my house and took me to the beach. I crutched over to a bench away from all the old guys drinking their coffee talking about the good ole days in the beach parking lot but never paddling out. It was perfectly cold with a sharp salty breeze. The feeling of sand underneath my cast made me feel sentimental but reminded me that I am still broken. I just sat there in complete silence watching the different hues of blue, pink and yellow arrange in the sky from the sunrise. I watched as the surfers waxed their boards and jog to the water to warm up. The happiness I saw on their faces paddling out to the lineup made me feel so peaceful and put me at ease with how content they were. For some reason that moment reminded me that everything is going to be alright. That moment all the things I should be grateful for started rushing into my mind. I had zero head injuries even though my helmet cracked in half from the impact. My other ankle is perfectly fine. My arms are fine. None of my organs were damaged. I had a friend available to drive me to the emergency room. I have insurance and the opportunity to start rehabbing and come back stronger next season. All these thoughts have since put me at peace and acceptance.
I did some research because I could not comprehend how to stepping back outside would have such a profound effect on me. There was a study done in England called “*Monitor of Engagement with the Natural Environment (MENE)”. The MENE survey provided data for how people experienced the natural environment. From that data you can see that the benefits of being outdoors peaked around three to five hours per day. That being said *over half of American adults' report spending 5 hours or fewer outside in nature each week and 92% of Americans spend less than 20 hours a week in nature. In Japanese culture going out to nature or a therapy trail is standard preventative medicine because it has been proven to help elevate suicidal thoughts and depression. The beach that morning for me was those three to five hours I needed to move into acceptance.
Being in denial, angry or depressed does not benefit anyone. Accepting what happened and moving forward is what you need to do. I’m honestly grateful for this injury. I have found a deeper sense of purpose, easily sworn off drinking, cleaned up my diet, spending more time with friends and invested more time into building my brand. Without this injury, I would not be able to understand what makes me happy and has made me especially grateful for those bright moments in my life. 8 months of recovering is only 0.03% of my life so far. I will gladly give up 0.03% of my life for the life lesson I will walk away with. Learn from my pain so you don’t have to go through it.
